Last week I explained that we will start a little series called “the Christian youth”. Today we will consider the Christian youth and friends. There is a secret about friends that if you learn and stick to the rules, you will save yourself a lot of drama. As a Christian youth, it is vital to be able to discern and categorise relationships even in the ministry. If you read the Bible carefully, you see that Jesus had 12 disciples but he was closer to 3 more than the rest. Now pause and see if you can guess the names of the 3 closest disciples. They were Peter, James and John; well done if you got that right, your Sunday school teacher will be proud. I think a big lesson can be learnt from this and at most points John is referred to as John the Beloved. Now, friends can generally be classed into 3 this is a message I listened from T.D Jakes and Myles Munroe:
CONFIDANTS: These category of friends are friends who love you for you, they love you unconditionally. Usually if you are a lucky person you get about 2-3 confidants in a lifetime. They are that hard to come by, if you get in any kind of trouble they are always around. If you ever go to jail, they will be the few that visit every now and again and will be there to pick you up after serving your term. In your walk with the Lord you can confidently tell them when you are tired and feel like giving up, they will encourage you and pray for you from the heart and remind you why you held on in the first place. An example is David and Jonathan, Jonathan was a selfless person and He stuck with David all through. It was a pretty messed up situation, his father wanted to kill David, David was interested in his father’s kingship which should be Jonathan’s inheritance but they shared a bond of friendship that goes way beyond the complications.
CONSTITUENTS: You can easily mistake constituents for confidants because just like confidants, constituents are always around but only because they are with you because of what you are for. they are not into you, they are into what you are for. You know this because as soon as someone comes with bigger passion in the thing you both like, they instantly leave you for the other person because they were never for you in the first place. When I was in school, I had a friend who was introducing me to another friend who after exchanging the normal pleasantries asked if I was doing General Nursing like her and she quickly cut in “yes of course, I don’t know how some people are friends with someone not in the same class as them” clearly then I knew she friends with me because we study same course and I classified her under constituents. When you are broken, it is easy to mistake them for confidants and simply let them in totally because they are always around. Be careful how much you open up to a constituents because when they leave, they take a piece of you with them because you should have never given them a piece of you in the first place.
COMRADES: They are not for you (confidants), they are not for what you are for (constituents) instead they are against what you are against. They will gather people as far as they all are against what you are against. They will team up with you to fight a common enemy you both have. Like organising a protest against rape, if you both are against rape. They will gather including people who might be against you as far as they are against rape (in this case) that’s all that matters to the comrade not how you feel.
People come into your life and they leave. You run the show they are the minor characters. Think of them as scaffolding, it holds the building up but once the building is up and completed, the scaffolding goes down while the building stays up. You see constituents and comrades are not bad people, you need them to grow; they are like sandpaper whose purpose is to smoothen your rough edges. They are not in any way bad but if however you mistake any of them for confidants, there is a price to pay because they are not for you. I made that mistake one time in my life and I paid for it. Do not trust everyone with your words, some people are like dubbing tapes, you relay your pains and frustration to them in confidence and they in turn feed every ear that cares to listen your deepest secrets.
Another lesson I learnt is not to share your dreams with everyone. I had a friend who was good at rubbishing every idea I came up with, she had a huge ability to make you and your idea look stupid. As soon as she succeeds, believe me the next time you walk around you hear people talking about your ideas and giving credit to that friend, my brother call these type of friends “the moon friends“, just like the moon needs the light from the sun, they need your light to shine (thereby taking your glory). Take my idea it’s okay, but don’t tell me it was a bad idea and turn round and use it. Needless to say, when I discovered how the categories of ‘friends’ worked, I placed all my friends where they belonged.
Pray about all your friends and please be honest with yourself when categorising them. I know you really want more confidants but you can’t make anyone your confidant unless they choose to moreover, the constituents, comrades and moon friends are all needed in one way or the other just be careful how much you let them in.
FASHION TODAY: Today’s outfit is pretty simple and self-explanatory. If I should choose one colour I would wear for the rest of my life, it will be black. Black to me is an outstanding colour and gives radiance believe it or not. It is always classy and for any black piece I know, it can be dressed up or down to suit any occasion. Ignore the myth about Black for funerals and not for weddings, I tell you what, you can wear black to a wedding and leave many jaws wide open even forgetting you are in black. I wore them with my lovely camouflage court heels too. Please leave a comment below and let me know what colour you would rather wear for the rest of your life if you had to and why.
Sorry for today’s long post, there was no easy way to write this article and please remember to comment down below about your experiences or any other points you think I might have missed.
God bless you and blessings for the new week.